Tumawa Ka...Kung Ayaw Mong Masaktan!
Posted at 07:43 AM

Balita ko eh umiikot ang email na'to...so lalo pa nating paikutin...sabi nga nung lalake na mataba na pumayat gradually matapos magtravel around the globe ng mag-isa sa pamamagitan ng patuloy na paglangoy dun sa Ginebra Commercial kase inutusan sya ni Maureen Larazabal na naka two-piece bathing suit habang nagsasayaw sa saliw ng isang indian song na kumuha ng Ginebra na "bilog ang mundo"! *whew* (natapos din)

eto na sila:

WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya "GO TO HELL", kaya ito
uwi agad ako..

Lasing (takot): may multo sa banyo natin!
Wife: ha? Bkit?
Lasing: kasi bumubukas yung ilaw pag papasok ako ng banyo eh.
Wife: punyeta ka! ikaw pala umiihi sa ref!

1st night lola wear see thru dress, lolo didn't react...
2nd night lola wear t-back, lolo still deadma...
3rd nyt lola all naked, lolo said "anu yan suot mo, gusot-gusot!!"

DAD: anak, bili mo ko softdrinx
ANAK: Coke or pepsi?
D: Coke
A: Diet or regular?
D: regular
A: bote o can?
D: bote
A: 8 oz o litro?
D: Punyeta!! tubig na lang!
A: viva o wilkins?

AMO: sagutin mo ang telepon inday!
INDAY: (baligtad ang hawak) hilo? hilo?
AMO: baligtarin mo!
INDAY: lohi? lohi?
AMO: telepon ang baligtarin mo!
INDAY: Puntili, puntili

Juan: bday ng asawa ko
Pedro: ano regalo mo?
Juan: tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
P: ano naman sinabi?
J: Kahit ano basta may DIAMOND.
P: ano binigay mo?
J: Baraha.

Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!
Student: That's not true! My dad sez we are descendants of an Ape!
Teacher: We are not talking about your FAMILY!

RUSSIAN: we're 1st in space
USA: we're 1st in the moon
ERAP: we'll be the 1st in the sun
USA: u can't go der, ul burn
ERAP: we're not stupid, we'll go der at NIGHT!


Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let's make
love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw
hindi na.


KRIMINAL1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?"
KRIMINAL2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito wala parin siya!
Sana naman wlang nangyaring masama sa kanya."

Pedro: Galing ako sa doktor, nakabili nko ng hearing aid. Grabe! ang linaw
na ng pandinig ko!
Juan: Talaga?! Magkano bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang.


i got this from our forum at http://www.reginemultimedia.com
user: mugzregine

Mga Pagbabago
Posted at 01:38 AM

Nakahawak ka na ba ng five hundred thousand pesos? Well, ako OO! ...




More to CUM!

Lonely No More
Posted at 09:39 AM

Video code provided by Music Video Codes I love this video! Rob Thomas Rocked my world!

Bumawi Ka!
Posted at 06:05 AM

Maganda ang buhay ko ngayon. Sana magtuloy-tuloy na. I'm not really that happy pero maganda at maayos ang lahat. Loveless yet fulfilled.

*putang inang yan*


...ang drama




pahabol:

Signs in English seen in countries that speak another language:

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR.

Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

On a highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.



On a poster at Kenyon:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

One of the buildings:
MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a Rumania maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.



Hotel notice, Tokyo:
IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO SUCH A THING IS PLEASE NOT TO HAD NOTIS.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM

Hotel brochure, Italy:
HIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.



Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.

Taken from a menu, Poland:
SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

From the "Soviet Weekly":
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.

In an East African newspaper:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

Hotel, Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS.WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

In the window on a Swedish furrier:
FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

*got this list from Pebs (thanks)*

Do The Juwa
Posted at 04:04 AM

Got this from our Yahoo group: The Manhunt.
Nakakaaliw masyado hindi ko maiwasang i-post. Read and LEARN!


CHORVAH has its etymology from the Greek word
cheorvamus meaning “for lack of the right word to
say”, or “in place of anything you want to express but
cannot verbalize”. Ibig sabihin pala, siya ay parang
“aloha” sa wikang Hawaiiano, which can mean many, many
things. “Chorvah” can be used as:

Noun: “ano” / “kwan” / “or something”

“Ate Glow, kelan yung birthday chorvah ni Big Mike?”

“Hoy, Vicky ‘to, whatcha gonna wear ba? The sporty or
the chinese chorvah mo?



Adjective: used if you want to be polite.

“Ang chorvah naman niyan!”

( So, ano ba? Pangit ba o maganda? Baduy ba or ang
arte?)

They will never know what you really mean. How polite!


Verb: can replace any verb

“Chorvah lang ng chorvah!”

Chorvah is such an amazing word, it lets you choose
your own adventure. At least you will never be accused
of putting words in somebody else’s mouth. If you
don’t have anything to say, or you can’t find the
right word to say, or you want to say something but
you don’t know how to say it, just say CHORVAH!

Variations: Chuvah, Chenes, Chenelyn
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ANO ANG BAGONG TAWAG SA JOWA IN THE NEW MILLENIUM?


It depends.

Pag one-time hada lang: STUDIO CONTESTANT.

Pag more than once at frequent ang encounter:
MONTHLY FINALIST.

Pag nagkaka-develop-an na: GRAND FINALIST.

Pag nagsasama na at ibina-bahay: LUCKY HOME
PARTNER.

Pag call-in callboy: LUCKY TEXT PARTNER lang.



Another day of higher learning!

Happy Ending
Posted at 10:29 AM

Napanood nyo ba ang finale episode ng Amazing Race 7? Well ako, YESSS!!!!! I've always been a fan of this reality show however I failed to catch AR6. Anyways I saw the finale episode and I cannot believe it, I'm crying for about 10 minutes watching the victory of Uchenna and Joyce. I'm crying myself to the max as in para akong nanalo ng FAMAS award (yuck!) tears of joy itu!!! I just feel for these 2 couples. Imagine mula simula hanggang sa kahuli-hulihan ng race may trial... juice ko kalbaryo itu! Kailangan pa talaga nilang mamalimos para manalo...I'm so moved by their kindness. They could've just told the taxi driver that they'll pay him later but NO, instead they really begged for the money in order to pay the taxi driver eventhough it may cause them loosing the race. Buti sana kung galit yung taxi driver eh hindi naman, actually willing nga syang maghintay eh kaso talagang mabait sila kaya ginawa nila lahat para lang mabayaran si Mr. taxi Driver.
*sigh*
They so deserve to win! Very inspiring, everyone should've seen it.
Great ending.

Speaking of ending the finale of American Idol is scheduled nextweek so you guys please do check it out. I'm hoping Bo would win!

Last Day
Posted at 05:52 AM

Today will be my last day here at work.